


Home (is Where the Strays Are)

by Avengerz



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Animals, Basically Tony is Will Graham when it comes to strays, Fluff, Gen, Intervention, M/M, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-25 23:52:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4981633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avengerz/pseuds/Avengerz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Tony has been at the receiving end of a lot of interventions, and he knows how to recognize them. So the second he steps into the living room he realizes that he's the subject of one yet again.</i><br/><i>“What?” He asked, instantly defensive as he looked around the circle of serious faces. “I’ve cut back on the drinking, I’m actually getting at least five hours of sleep a night, and I haven’t fucked anyone except Steve since we got together. What is it?”</i><br/><i>“It’s not about the drink,” Pepper said, and her carefully calm tone did absolutely nothing to calm Tony down, if that was the goal. “Or the sleep, or the, um, fucking.”</i><br/><i>Tony’s genuinely confused now. “What is it, then?”</i><br/><i>Clint, perched like the weirdo he is on the top of the couch, pins him with an unnaturally serious look. “It’s the pets.”</i> </p><p>Or: The one in which Tony hoards stray animals</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home (is Where the Strays Are)

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't actually inspired by anything on tumblr, but I posted it on tumblr first so *shrugs*

Tony had been at the receiving end of a lot of interventions. A rather disturbingly large amount, actually. He had also once been invited to join one, which had, of course, been a complete disaster, as he’d spent the whole time laughing or nodding along with what the poor shmuck was saying in his own protest because yeah, a drink at nine AM really wasn’t that unreasonable.

The point was that Tony knew what an intervention looked like. And therefore he knew the moment he walked into the living room that he was the subject of one yet again.

“What?” He asked, instantly defensive as he looked around the circle of serious faces. “I’ve cut back on the drinking, I’m actually getting at least five hours of sleep tonight, and I haven’t fucked anyone except Steve since we got together. What is it?”

“It’s not about the drink,” Pepper said, and her carefully calm tone did absolutely nothing to calm Tony down, if that was the goal. “Or the sleep, or the, um, fucking.”

Tony’s genuinely confused now. “What is it, then?”

Clint, perched like the weirdo he is on the top of the couch, pins him with an unnaturally serious look. “It’s the pets.”

This does not help Tony’s confusion. He looks down at the cat twining itself around his legs, and his frown grows. “What?”

Natasha speaks up next, which Tony is grateful for, because for all that she lies and manipulates, Tony can trust her to speak the blunt truth when it’s most important. “You have an unhealthy habit of picking up strays. It was nice at first, then tolerable, but it’s gotten excessive. You need to stop.”

Tony gasps and reaches down to pick up the cat. “Don’t listen to them, Tesla,” he coos, pulling the rather disgruntled-looking cat up against his chest. “I love you still.”

Steve looks pained, possibly because Tony still finds it easier to tell his many pets that he loves them than his own boyfriend. “Tony, I love you- we love you, and you know that, and we’ve tried to be understanding, but-” he glances around at the others, who now share similar looks of discomfort (Tony’s hurt face has had that affect, he’s noticed) before blurting out, “I found a hairball in my shoe this morning. That’s the third time this week.”

“Archimedes doesn’t mean to, you know that,” Tony protests. “You should just put your shoes up on the shelf, then he wouldn’t be able to reach them.”  
“And man, you know I love dogs,” Clint says, “I do, but seven is a little excessive even for me.”

“The bots take care of them! You don’t have to feed ‘em or walk them or anything unless you want to! And Newton is almost house-trained!” Tony can’t believe this is happening. Never before had an intervention so completely blindsided him.

“Mendel somehow got into my lab yesterday,” Bruce says then, “he knocked over half a dozen racks of test tubes before I could get him back outside.”  
Tony directs his (very effective) hurt look at his Science Bro now. “He didn’t mean to! He just hasn’t adjusted to his growth spurt yet.”

“I know that,” Bruce replies, and his smile is apologetic. “But it set my work back by a good two months. That’s not- that’s not really okay, Tony.”

Tony looks around at the resolute faces and abruptly realizes he’s not going to win this argument, Hurt Look™ or no. “It’s my tower,” he points out, and he know he sounds petulant, but he can’t quite stop himself from whining. “I can do what I want.”

“We know that, Tony.” Tony’s really starting to hate Pepper’s soothing voice, especially because it’s actually working on him. “But don’t you think they deserve better than this?”

Tony’s Hurt Look™ reaches another level of hurt. “You think I don’t take good care of them?”

“Of course not!” Steve says instantly, and he hurries to Tony’s side (though he has to step over a sleeping dog to do so (Curie could sleep through literally anything, interventions were nothing to her)). “You’re a great pet owner, babe, the best. But even you only have so many hours in the day, and inevitably someone’s going to get left out.”

Clint quirks a smile. “Even the great Tony Stark can’t handle five cats, seven dogs, a parakeet and a turtle.”

“Don’t forget Francis Bacon,” Bruce reminds.

“And a piglet.”

“And I’m sorry sweetheart, but having even half of those animals piled on our bed is a bit much.” Steve wraps an arm around his waist and presses a light kiss to his temple, perhaps in an effort to soften the blow. To Tony’s infinite disgust, it works. “I think you need to consider putting them up for adoption.”

How is Tony supposed to tell Captain America that he’s wrong? More importantly, how is he supposed to say no to his boyfriend’s pleading face?

Tony sighs heavily and allows Tesla to jump out of his arms. “Alright. Maybe you’re right. I’ll- I’ll look into some nearby pounds, see if I can find any good ones.”

“Thank you,” Steve says, a fervent sentiment that is quickly echoed by the others.

\-----

Tony’s not ashamed to admit he cries when they drop them off at the pound. It’s a no-kill shelter that treats their animals well, and Tony’s generous donation ensures they’ll be able to keep giving the pets the best food and equipment possible.

Francis Bacon goes to a farmer in Kansas who promises not to turn the pig into his name. It’s all very Charlotte’s Web.

Tony keeps an eye on the rest of them, of course. Tesla is adopted by an old lady who will lavish him with as much attention as the spoiled cat wants. Mendel goes to a family with a bunch of kids that can match his enthusiasm. Curie is still young enough that she’s recruited to be a therapy dog, and from what Tony hears she’s an amazing one. One by one, they’re all adopted (except for Aristotle and Galileo, the brothers get to stay together as per Tony’s request).

When the last of them leaves the shelter (Newton), Tony cries again. Steve holds him through it, whispering into his hair how proud he is of him, and how they’ll all be incredibly happy in their new homes.

\-----

Pepper finds her first, happily chewing on a bone and slobbering all over the Italian leather couch, freshly cleaned and wearing a new collar that declares her as ‘Meitner.’

“TONY!”

**Author's Note:**

> I've written Pepper maybe once? so if y'all have any feedback as to her characterization I'd love to hear it (or about any of them, I feel like it's a little rough in places).
> 
> You can find me ignoring homework and writing more stuff like this at [my tumblr](http://www.anthonyfuckingstark.tumblr.com)!


End file.
